I am celebrating my 29th year of marriage. That’s right! When I think about the length of our personal commitment, I reflect on what was required of us both to make it work (it’s not been all sunshine and roses and unicorn kisses…. it’s hard work). What I realized is three things necessary for us to be more personally committed to our relationships, partnerships, and cherished people.
Create routine dates. Have a regularly scheduled date night with your significant other. Maybe it’s a virtual champagne or wine date. Maybe it’s a movie date or a meal you share together. Perhaps it’s to go on a walk or a bike ride. Whatever you do, schedule the opportunity as something to excitedly await. I still date my husband of 29 plus years. Just so you know, sometimes I don’t feel like it, sometimes I don’t want to make the effort… but I do. It would be easy to bail, but it is something I admire my friend Meg Kristel has always committed to. She blogs on The Well Dressed Life, a blog designed for balancing work and motherhood in style. It helps keep us focused on each other, helps meet each other’s needs and it’s a great way to ensure we have time scheduled to truly connect and converse – even when things are otherwise hectic. We both travel extensively each week so these dates are important to me.
Undistracted, Undivided Attention
When you’re spending time with your partner, put away technology. Can you leave the phone in your car or handbag? Nothing can spoil the moment like a work-related call, email or text. Ensure you give undistracted, undivided attention to those you love. This helps you listen more intently and focus on what they have to say. It will help you make a deeper, more genuine connection that is meaningful and lasting. I totally get this is hard to do (especially if you have little ones in your life), just being conscious of it is a great first step.
Say Thank You Often
Never take your partner for granted. Find ways to say thank you regularly. If they put out the trash, help you with a meal, or even just grabbed you some water. Whatever it may be, say thank you. A unique and unique way to also acknowledge your partner’s efforts is to leave thank you notes. If you travel for work, hide post-it notes around the house. As silly as it may seem, it will be something they appreciate while you’re gone. I love the book called Five Love Languages, my honey and I are complete opposites but I try to speak in his love language more often… I don’t always get it right… but I do try.
Want more ideas? Check out my YouTube channel and watch this video below:
What would you add to this list? Write your comments down here below. Let’s connect on social media. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Pick up a copy of Attention Pays, with hundreds of strategies to apply personally, professionally and globally.
I am so excited to see how you’re going to use these strategies to be even more committed to where you pay attention. I believe that when we pay attention, attention pays.