What Are Your Excuses That Are Holding You Back from Influence?
There are two roadblocks most individuals experience that prevent them from taking their communication from good to influential. First, is being aware of the excuses they make for why they communicate the way they do. Second, is how to fix it. Imagine what you could do if you put the energy you use to make excuses into taking action. Perhaps we make excuses rather than take action because it’s easier. Do we replace action with excuses because we are covering up our vulnerability or lack of confidence? Or are we simply not aware of the excuses we make?
I have the opportunity throughout the year to observe thousands of individuals deliver presentations, make sales calls, facilitate meetings and participate in virtual and face-to-face conversations. Most individuals know what they don’t like about how others communicate. They will quickly comment:
“I can’t stand it when the person I’m talking to speaks with non-words.” “It drives me crazy when the presenter talks to their visual aids.” “I check emails in my meetings when the facilitator doesn’t use eye contact.” “The speaker gives me permission to tune out when they ramble and take too long to get to the point.”
Why do these same individuals who are quick to give others feedback communicate the same way? They never use pauses or look at their listeners long enough to connect. They frequently talk to their visual aids and notes as if they’re having a relationship with these elements. Rambling is their middle name because it takes them too long to get to the point.
Communicating with influence and impact takes an immense amount of hard work and discipline. As much as we know this to be true, we still have excuses.
The excuses come from individuals who tend to lack confidence and self-esteem. Or individuals who believe they’re better than what reality states.
Top Excuses
“If I knew what I was talking about I wouldn’t say non-words.” Your non-words don’t suddenly fall out of the sky when you don’t know your message. When I’ve had conversations with these individuals focusing on a topic they know, they still speak with non-words. Because you’re comfortable with a topic doesn’t mean the non-words disappear. These behaviors are habits and take practice and commitment to change.
“If I had time to prepare what I wanted to say I would sound more confident.” The majority of our day-to-day conversations are impromptu. If you really want to be perceived as confident, you need to communicate effectively all the time.
“When I’m having a conversation with my client I look and sound more confident.” Why do you practice effective communication only when you speak to clients? You can’t be confident Monday to Wednesday and slack the remainder of the week. It’s all or nothing if you want to consistently have impact and influence on others.
If we’d put our energy into improving our communication rather than making excuses, we’d begin making changes that guarantee greater results.
- Building stronger relationships.
- Increasing profits.
- Influencing action.
- Speaking to be heard.
If you find yourself making an excuse this week, think about what you can do to make a change. What you can say or do to have more impact and influence on others?
The choice is ALWAYS yours. It always has been and always will be. Are you missing opportunities because your excuses are getting in the way?
Stacey Hanke – Founder and Communication Expert
Stacey Hanke is the founder and communication expert of Stacey Hanke Inc. In her book Yes You Can! She reveals practical and immediate skills and techniques to enhance verbal skills to influence others. Stacey helps individuals eliminate the static that plagues communicative delivery-to persuade, sell, influence and effectively communicate face-to-face with a clear message. Learn more about Stacey at www.staceyhankeinc.com
