Have you ever given serious thought to how much time you may waste in a day based on how you communicate?
Most of us LOVE to hear ourselves talk. Because we’re passionate about our message, we think our listeners are as passionate as we are. One of the biggest mistakes we make when communicating is that we waste time and frustrate our listeners.
I’m not talking about frustrating your listeners to the point they disagree with your point of view. Instead, I’m referring to listeners who get frustrated because you communicate too much information over a short period of time. We don’t use our time productively and as a result we don’t have the level of impact we could have if we simply would Get To The Point!
We’ve all been there, done it. We have 30 minutes to deliver our message when we wish we had 45.
Instead of taking the time to examine what our listeners NEED to know to take the action we want them to take, we decide to cram 45 minutes of information into 30.
For one month, follow the following productivity tips to communicate with impact and influence.
1. Pause. When, um, you’re, having, you know, a conversation with, uh, someone who is, actually, selling you their, um, ideas, doesn’t it, like, drive you crazy, um, when they take too long, basically, to get to the point?
Replace non-words by taking time to pause and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. If your message is cluttered with non-words, your listener may see you as someone who is unable to perform their job or as someone who lacks knowledge.
Your listener relies on your knowledge to help them determine if they trust you and are influenced to act on what you have to say. When you use non-words, you do not give your listeners time to hear, understand and respond. As a result you waste time because you will ramble, say too much and take too long to get to the point. How can they build a productive relationship with you when they’re not confident in your abilities?
Pausing guarantees you will not lose your credibility and the attention of your listener. The benefits of pausing are essential to influencing your listener and respecting their time.
· Pausing invites your listener to share the conversation with you. When you create a two-way conversation with your listener, you’re able to adjust your message based on their needs and expectations.
· Pausing creates interest and heightens anticipation. Pause before and after a specific point, fact or idea you want your listener to remember.
· Pausing allows you to collect your thoughts and breathe to r-e-l-a-x. Pausing helps you gain control of your message and appear confident. You’re able to communicate more information in less time because you’re saying fewer words and giving yourself permission to think on your feet, which prevents you from wasting your listener’s time.
· Pausing allows you to prioritize your thoughts. For example, impromptu situations become more comfortable, even when you haven’t had a chance to prepare a message.
There is a quote from the first century B.C. Publilius Syrus, a Latin writer of maxims, said, “I have never regretted my silence; I have regretted my speech.”
2. Saying too much. How many of us are guilty of walking away from a conversation thinking, “I forgot to say …” or “I shouldn’t have said …”? As professionals, we need to be comfortable with silence and allowing our listeners to communicate what is important to them, not you.
I’ve observed individuals during conversations inviting their listener to do all of the talking while they patiently listen and ask questions. Later when I’ve asked their listener what perception they created of this individual, they never describe their silence as lacking knowledge or boring. Instead they say, “Instead they speak of the person’s sincerity and credibility.”
3. Rule of Three. To make the best use of time and for your listeners to remember and retain the information you’re communicating, create your content following The Rule of Three. The human mind remembers in groups of three. This would explain why we remember our phone number(s) and Social Security number. When you offer more than three key points, your listeners are busy trying to remember each key point; they walk away with none of them. You will be able to communicate more in less time!
4. Disrespecting your listener’s time. If you’re given 30 minutes to communicate your ideas and concepts (as in a meeting or conference call), take 25. When you go over the allotted time, you communicate to your listener their time isn’t valuable. It’s one of the quickest ways to destroy the relationship and prevent you from influencing your listener to act on what you have to say.
5. Speak less, listen more. We get caught up in our message and only communicate what we want to accomplish. There is a wealth of knowledge to learn from others. If you can’t write three new ideas you learn from your listeners at the end of every week, you’re missing opportunities to grow professionally and personally.
Productive communication takes discipline and accountability. Ask a family member, friend or co-worker to give you constructive feedback when you’re not following the above productivity tips. Audio and videotape yourself to hear what your listeners hear rather than how you feel when you’re communicating.
When you practice these productivity tips and receive feedback, you’ll begin to make these skills and techniques your new habit.
Stacey Hanke is co-author of the book; Yes You Can! Everything You Need From A To Z To Influence Others To Take Action and founder of 1st Impression Consulting, Inc. She helps individuals eliminate the static that plagues communicative delivery – to persuade, sell, influence and communicate face-to-face with a clear message.
She has trained over 15,000 people to rid themselves of bad body language habits and choose words wisely. She has delivered over 500 presentations for business leaders in industries from finance and health care to government and everyone in between. Her client list is vast from Coca-Cola, Kohl’s, United States Army, Navy and Air Force, Leo Burnett, University of Chicago, AT&T to the FDA. Check her out at: staceyhankeinc.com
