Get Productive: Stop Being Unkind

Anyone who knows me (and for those of you who read this blog regularly… thank you), everyone will tell you I am almost always upbeat, happy, optimistic, and always try to be kind to those around me.  Recently, at an amazing networking event full of brilliant, generous women I was surprised by how some women in business still don’t get it.  There are still a few of the old-style women who can be so unkind, well at this event there was only one.

Let ‘s set the scene; 150 women hosted at a gorgeous venue in Philadelphia by a phenomenal company who provided complimentary registration, food, and wine and invited me to speak an accelerated networking event. They asked me to share strategies to help their guests be more productive when they network. It was amazing! It was fun, people were generous, the organizers were fantastic, the response and feedback were mind-blowingly awesome… the whole event was fabulous and I was privileged to be part of it.

Often as the keynote speaker, I am approached by people at the end of the program who want a cuddle, want to share what impacted them and many are looking for advice and tips on their own personal journey. Admittedly this is one of my favorite parts of the event as I get to interact personally with audience members.

Imagine my surprise when a representative from a clothing line came up to talk with me (while I won’t mention the name of the company) explaining she wanted to work with me and had several pieces that would be perfect for me.  Initially, I thought that was very generous of her. I explained I don’t dress myself (shock horror … I don’t have a sense of style like others I admire), so many years ago I partnered with the amazing Megan Kristel, founder of Kristel Closets.

I explained my wardrobe is handled by the Kristel Closets team.   One of their consultants was at the event, so I recommended it would be best she talk to her. She was adamant she didn’t want to do that and wanted to work with me personally. I tried again to politely explain I don’t make time to do my own shopping (another reason I love the team at Kristel Closets), and it would be better she speak to the consultant.  I went as far as to take her by the hand and personally connect her with them so I could continue my conversations with other guests waiting to connect.

I know this is a long-winded explanation, however, I have a point… stay with me.. today I found out how unkind she was to that consultant.

She decided to share her opinions of my apparently bad outfit, too much bling for the evening (my readers also know bling is definitely part of my signature) and trash talking the outfit overall (I thought I looked cute but totally understand not everyone agrees with my choices of outfits and am cool with that), what annoyed me most was how unkind her comments were about the legendary Kristel Closets and her overall attitude to the consultant at the event.

Really. Really ladies. Why would someone do that?  Seriously?

What she doesn’t know is that Megan Kristel was the only one who could take me into a dressing room years ago and find me suits that were a size 22 in the Women’s department of Nordstrom’s (that’s right that’s what I used to wear). Megan was the only one who made me feel OK and helped me feel like I wasn’t the freak in the store. If you have ever been a bigger size like me, you know what I am talking about; clothes shopping is torture.   What that lady didn’t know is that they have been on my personal journey with me and just this week we celebrated in the dressing room as I tried on a petite size 6 jeans (and they fit).  Megan and the team at Kristel Closets have been on my journey the whole time.

How dare she make criticism of a company that mean the world to me, how dare she treat that consultant (who is a real human with real feelings) so poorly without knowing anything about us – seriously ladies this has to stop.

Get productive, stop being so unkind. ‘Bite your tongue’ as my mum used to say.  This lady saw me speak for less than an hour and didn’t know me, didn’t know my journey, didn’t know my love and admiration for Megan and her team and all they accomplish daily when they work with women just like me and help increase their confidence and personal presence.

Never underestimate the power of your words, the power of your network and the power of one conversation.

I know this is very ‘soapbox’… not my normal style blog, however, I beg of you – stop making a judgment of people because of their size, outfit, age or the amount of bling they choose to wear. It’s not productive, it’s unkind and it needs to stop.

I guess I should also thank the lady too, she had me thinking about this for several hours and am now even more determined to be extra kind to even more people this weekend. Enough said!

What can you do to be more kind to those you meet? Share your thoughts with us here on our blog.